Category: loss

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Shadows and Friends

Gone far too soon
taken by a heart that could not carry you further
strong enough to love us all
but it gave too much and took a brother

always there
a hand, a smile, a sound, to lead or follow
loved and lost
when was the last time I said I’d see you tomorrow?

I’ll see you tomorrow
Until the days are no longer numbered
the silence sucks in sound
and every time it leaves me number

a last goodbye
she was on her way to help, to give
the road was her home,
the road was the last place she lived

Always loving
a helping hand, advice, an ear
loved, lost, gone
but somehow always near

I’ll see you tomorrow
Until the days grow long and ends
I’ll see all of you
all of my shadows and friends

I’ll take pain over apathy
The scars stitching me together with love
holding together
when I don’t know what I’m capable of

When I am a shadow
and the last light that would have been me reaches the ground
Just wait until tomorrow
and your road takes you where you are bound

I’ll see you tomorrow
Once the days have passed the horizon
once more in hearts and eyes
and the tears no longer cloud your vision

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Last Payment

Nobody knows what this will cost me
Honesty’s too real
The baring of the layers of
Callous armor peels

Away from the scarred and broken
mending lines and pain
A confession long unspoken
of plans too long refrained

To tell the truth to myself
would shatter me away
when I look at what is left inside
there’s nothing left to say

Hatred left a wasteland
rage a scorched path
violence was the answer
but the question’s never asked

born into all the world could teach
before the mind could grow
who is it now, what can become
something I can never know

So I pay myself a visit
Across the ashes and the flame
should I peel away another scar
I’ll never be the same

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Unstructured

The water ripples
Sound mapped on the 3D plane
A drop remembers

The wind sighs by me
whispering secrets loved long
Memory in scent

Trees murmur to all
Hushing the children playing
Rustle fallen clothes

The clouds drifting through
They have witnessed it before
mourning comes too soon

The water ripples
sorrow given form
A drop remembers

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Where we go

Carried into love
Carried into life
Buried by hands that loved her as wife

Lost to flow
Lost to pain
A mother returned to the energy plane

Left behind
Left in sorrow
Fear in facing the thousand tomorrows

Holding hands
Hold agony
Absent but watching over her progeny

The body is always weaker than soul
The spirit continues no matter the toll
Mind carries spirit from one to the next
And still the waves of grief will roll

Where we go is where we wait
Where we wait the light purifies
Why pain is endured corporeal
When the end is what life defies

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Un Divine Comedy

Every few years, the new kid at the trailer park.
Play behind the propane getting home before it’s dark.
The new kid gotta face the old dude.
It’s either how ya doin’ or bullied and screwed.

A family full of black sheep looking for a herd.
MLM, Amway, or right-wing media.
Cults and Jesus freaks, they’re the encyclopedia.
Never found a story they couldn’t swallow.
A pyramid conspiracy that they wouldn’t follow.

Another opportunity. Another broken scam.
Another broken promise to take away the glam.
Spend money to make it, the hook is set.
Just like the last times but then they forget.

Another home, another hole, another school to skip.
Never had the tickets, so couldn’t miss the ship
It sailed so long ago, I was tangled in a placenta
So fuck the captains of the ship and the fuckers who sent ya

They call it envy when angry, but I just want to eat
want to stop all the noises
want to have warm, dry feet
no skills to express the trauma that is felt
So the answer is found at the end of a belt

It was swung at first, then found in the hand
The belt has kept swinging to meet the demand
that the child won’t be spoiled, and the rod is long gone
until it swings on the belt and the cycle has won

The box it is pretty, the crowd it is strange
another chapter is closed, another memory exchanged
Healing leaves tissue of random connections
Trauma leaves traces of hidden infections

Goodbye is something that never gets heard
by those who need to hear that one compound word
I am sorry for existence
But thanks for the ride
Loved you from biology
I forgive the lost pride
Forgive my transgression
and the spite for existence
I only stay above ground at the others’ insistence.

Carry gifts from the womb to the welcoming tomb
burn and distribute me to the corners of earth
or launch the ashes into space so the planet can birth
the wasted matter that was all but consumed
by the terrors of existing
and the widening wound.