Rolling in
washing over
inevitable force flowing into every conscious moment.
finding who I am
destroying who I was supposed to be
The child died
stillborn into a world without wonder
understanding pain
rage
hate
there has to be something better
the riptide says no
pulling down
pulling away
filling lungs
the black water becomes the void
filling every moment
cleansing through rage
filling every moment
pieces of me
washing through the wake
hoping for a shoreline
glancing shimmering visions of a reflected moon
full on the surface of the deep
calling me up
through the turbulence
Following the light
Luna crossing the sky in time
Ticking away with the crashing waves
calling me back to shore
The jealous water holds me
her embrace familiar
whispering trickles of fear into my soul
that she has always let me catch breath
that she just wants to hold me
Fingers in the saturated sand
pulling into the frigid air
the sharp pain of wind biting
the caress of the deep still on my legs
reminding me that she kept the cold at bay
that feeling is pain
she can hold me
Fist fulls of primordial soil
every agonizing moment dragging me to the high tide line
baked in the cold glow of the moon
who called me
the skin falling away with every inch
exposing raw, enervated flesh to the ravages of the stones
the sand
the hungry gale
She roars at me from the depths
rising up, carried too by the moon’s pull
following the same thread
lapping at the naked flesh of my legs
trying to hold
slipping back into her death bed
her depth bed
The wind dies
the roar fades
and she whispers a song of loss
I lie on my back
eyes to the blinding moon
bathed in the luminescence
feelings, sounds, vibrance no longer mute
no longer held
no longer Held
