Carried into love Carried into life Buried by hands that loved her as wife
Lost to flow Lost to pain A mother returned to the energy plane
Left behind Left in sorrow Fear in facing the thousand tomorrows
Holding hands Hold agony Absent but watching over her progeny
The body is always weaker than soul The spirit continues no matter the toll Mind carries spirit from one to the next And still the waves of grief will roll
Where we go is where we wait Where we wait the light purifies Why pain is endured corporeal When the end is what life defies
The pain is fading, no pills to just walk. the struggle is fading, I can just stop and talk The desire to wander into traffic is a quiet refrain At peace with the killer, and she lives in my brain
The feeling of impending something quiets the shadows shrinking but still looming defiant The void keeps calling, but goes to the machine convinced alerts are red but the lights are all green
I want to know, before that moment that I go To see it coming before I face that last breath of cold Brace for impact or embrace the real fact but I want to go before the suffering takes hold
Living in agony to distract from the hurt growing my fears in my mind’s fertile dirt comfort finds me and rocks me to rest until the voices rise up and tighten my chest
No pills to calm me, just seeking out arms the kind to embrace, or the kind to do harm Mother earth don’t deny me my natural right to be aware of what’s coming and a chance to fight
I want to know, before that moment that I go To see it coming before I face that last breath of cold Brace for impact or embrace the real fact but I want to go before the suffering takes hold
Money can’t buy happiness, but it buys all the pills it pays for the faceless and pays all the bills Filthy paper tuck intimately behind tight strings the touch then the absence of all that it brings
The lies whispered from inside the skull keep the sleep meter empty and adrenaline full The void keeps calling, but goes to the machine convinced alerts are red but the lights are all green
I want to know, before that moment that I go To see it coming before I face that last breath of cold Brace for impact or embrace the real fact but I want to go before the suffering takes hold
I was threatened with death again. Threatened with a visit from an old friend He was as confused as was I To be threatened with a friend stopping by
I was threatened with hell today Filled with the memories of the places I’d play Where at least the suffering was ordered and expected And the quiet solitude of being left alone; neglected.
My visitor spoke of past visits we had Small talk filling the space filled with air gone bad Silver linings of the accidents finding a cure The pain was cleansing of I could endure
We called up God and asked what made them irate they said it was who made them that was filled with hate They were dreamed up by us needing an excuse for the shit that we did and all the abuse
We pretended that service was what we required but in gods we created the reasons we desired to be righteous in the depravity we sought sold our souls for excuses and that’s what we bought
