Tag: death

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Shadows and Friends

Gone far too soon
taken by a heart that could not carry you further
strong enough to love us all
but it gave to much and took a brother

always there
a hand, a smile, a sound, to lead or follow
loved and lost
when was the last time I said I’d see you tomorrow?

I’ll see you tomorrow
Until the days are no longer numbered
the silence sucks in sound
and every time it leaves me number

a last goodbye
she was on her way to help, to give
the road was her home,
the road was the last place she lived

Always loving
a helping hand, advice, an ear
loved, lost, gone
but somehow always near

I’ll see you tomorrow
Until the days grow long and ends
I’ll see all of you
all of my shadows and friends

I’ll take pain over apathy
The scars stitching me together with love
holding together
when I don’t know what I’m capable of

When I am a shadow
and the last light that would have been me reaches the ground
Just wait until tomorrow
and your road takes you where you are bound

I’ll see you tomorrow
Once the days have passed the horizon
once more in hearts and eyes
and the tears no longer cloud your vision

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Last Payment

Nobody knows what this will cost me
Honesty’s too real
The baring of the layers of
Callous armor peels

Away from the scarred and broken
mending lines and pain
A confession long unspoken
of plans too long refrained

To tell the truth to myself
would shatter me away
when I look at what is left inside
there’s nothing left to say

Hatred left a wasteland
rage a scorched path
violence was the answer
but the question’s never asked

born into all the world could teach
before the mind could grow
who is it now, what can become
something I can never know

So I pay myself a visit
Across the ashes and the flame
should I peel away another scar
I’ll never be the same

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Ready?

The pain is fading, no pills to just walk.
the struggle is fading, I can just stop and talk
The desire to wander into traffic is a quiet refrain
At peace with the killer, and she lives in my brain

The feeling of impending something quiets
the shadows shrinking but still looming defiant
The void keeps calling, but goes to the machine
convinced alerts are red but the lights are all green

I want to know, before that moment that I go
To see it coming before I face that last breath of cold
Brace for impact or embrace the real fact
but I want to go before the suffering takes hold

Living in agony to distract from the hurt
growing my fears in my mind’s fertile dirt
comfort finds me and rocks me to rest
until the voices rise up and tighten my chest

No pills to calm me, just seeking out arms
the kind to embrace, or the kind to do harm
Mother earth don’t deny me my natural right
to be aware of what’s coming and a chance to fight

I want to know, before that moment that I go
To see it coming before I face that last breath of cold
Brace for impact or embrace the real fact
but I want to go before the suffering takes hold

Money can’t buy happiness, but it buys all the pills
it pays for the faceless and pays all the bills
Filthy paper tuck intimately behind tight strings
the touch then the absence of all that it brings

The lies whispered from inside the skull
keep the sleep meter empty and adrenaline full
The void keeps calling, but goes to the machine
convinced alerts are red but the lights are all green

I want to know, before that moment that I go
To see it coming before I face that last breath of cold
Brace for impact or embrace the real fact
but I want to go before the suffering takes hold

I want to be ready when the suffering takes hold

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T Time

I was threatened with death again.
Threatened with a visit from an old friend
He was as confused as was I
To be threatened with a friend stopping by

I was threatened with hell today
Filled with the memories of the places I’d play
Where at least the suffering was ordered and expected
And the quiet solitude of being left alone; neglected.

My visitor spoke of past visits we had
Small talk filling the space filled with air gone bad
Silver linings of the accidents finding a cure
The pain was cleansing of I could endure

We called up God and asked what made them irate
they said it was who made them that was filled with hate
They were dreamed up by us needing an excuse
for the shit that we did and all the abuse

We pretended that service was what we required
but in gods we created the reasons we desired
to be righteous in the depravity we sought
sold our souls for excuses and that’s what we bought