Structured religion is not something I can attach to.
I feel the claws of something gripping me in all the vacant, accepting eyes around me.
The blissful release of responsibility. The abdication of morality.
I see the same thing when I hear talk of hardcore patriotism.
Of giving power to the state.
Another abdication of morality.
I wonder.
Would these people surrounding me gleefully run rampant, rape, steal and kill if they did not have some threat of violence hanging over them.
Some eternal damnation awaiting them if they slip.
The stick ready to swing.
The cage at the end of the hall.
The needle.
The noose.
The gun.
The same person telling me I will burn or be torn to pieces…
The same person supporting the pedophiles…
The same person supporting the man strapping a suicide vest on a child…
The same person supporting the troops in the jungle bashing babies against a tree trunk…
They tell me they are morally superior because they have a structure of brutality to back their beliefs.
They are not always sure what those beliefs are.
But they are sure everyone should follow them.
Follow or face punitive measures.
I do not have the arrogance to name God.
The creatures of creation that set in motion this universe may not even be aware of our microcosm.
So, with science telling me to question the validity of my immediate world and worldview…
With my perceptions telling me what causes harm…
With my soul not sold…
I act to harm as little as possible and help when I can.
If I can.
I am not always a good person according to various codes and creeds.
Jesus would not smile at my everyday life.
Mohamed would not hesitate to remove my head.
Buddha would say I am far too attached.
Jehova would have me struck down.
The man with the crown, the badge, the scepter.. would cage and enslave me.
But my ordinary life, in the search for greater things and in the pursuit of some comfort in physical and spiritual hedonism…
leaves me exhausted.
Sometimes fulfilled.
Other times empty.
But always busy.
One day I will flip the switch on my own and explore the darkness beyond these eyes.
When I am tired of this pursuit.
Perhaps all I will do is flip a switch and there will finally be silence
peace
as the vibration of the energy within the meat of my body is carried into the chaos of the flame.
The potential consumed to become so much smoke, steam, and ash.
And then I will be gone
Until the last time, someone says my name
remembers my face
knows that I existed
closes their eyes
closes the book
and the vibrations I left on this plane
settle into the entropy
that will one day claim us all.
Comfort.
