void at my back
fire to the fore
Mother Ocean is calling
But the moon pulls once more

solid ground in her safety
to hold and protect
The fire up above in the waters reflects

The void that birthed what stands today
calls with chilling comfort
to take the pain away…

Take the pain away
Take the pain away
abdicate sensation
Give in to the numb

Take the pain away
Take the pain away
undoing creation
blind, deaf, and dumb

chasing light receding
Take the pain away
The world turns to darkness
to take the pain away

splitting atoms
dividing cells
begin again in darkness
over a sunless sea

Plastic eyes reflect the world
No shine coming from within
Trauma blasted mental state
Kills thoughts as they begin

Circling the cavitation
The waste lay in its wake
Another day, another pill
Is it a good day to break

Contaminated thoughts
Fueled by toxic dreams
The smile says tranquility
Inside the brain just screams

Needing to nurture mother
To sleep a dreamless eternity
Crawl inside the barren soil
And feed it with my entity

Look within and find the void
In the middle of the maelstrom
Quiet place of entropy
The calming peace of sanctum

Contaminated thoughts
Fueled by toxic dreams
The smile says tranquility
Inside the brain just screams

Those who whisper across the barrier crave innocent minds
never knowing who will answer, who the grooming finds
hands reaching into the membrane, groping, unknown
not caring of the aftermath and how it all unwinds

The monsters are known to us
never aliens from beyond
No demons sneaking over
or spirits to respond

The monsters will infect you
If you take the poison to heart
purge yourself, end the cycle
Don’t let the infection start

We are human, we are broken
We are used and then discarded
our scars left festering
since the wounds were imparted

vile deceiver
screaming
Reality raw
Eden was a man lost dreaming

Just creation
nature
built-in instincts call
Lines between man and ape blur

Mankind was lied to
before the sword
rotting in a garden
eternity bored
good and evil
wisdom denied
light-bringer fell
When heaven lied

another death
nailed it
save from creation
Once the father has failed it

bloodborne flesh needs
made me
Driven by my needs
until I find who flayed me

born into death
rotting
walking decomposed
What is the maker plotting

Is it chaos
no plan
fluke of the machine
that made us more than human

Mankind was lied to
before the sword
rotting in a garden
eternity bored
good and evil
wisdom denied
light-bringer fell
When heaven lied

To come to terms with life
Means you’ve identified your death
Means you’ve found meaning in your breath
But do not accept the sentence
Do not ever rest

You’ve identified the enemy
It will swallow you in entropy
It will sit waiting for the inevitable breakdown of sanity
But sanity is the enemy of your enemy in the light
And you have to be crazy to continue with this fight

The enemy of my Enemy
May not be a friend to me
May share the same enmity
That created my first enemy

Newly formed and lustrous
becoming a jewel from layers thrown
a broken threshold a flash
The lights in an instant are stole

both sides to the light
to be formed in the dark
to face layers and come out glowing

Destroyed in a moment
of ongoing torment
The running waters want to go not knowing

Another star blooms in tension
when the tether is cut
rising out of the horror we’re facing

the night folds around
and holds out the beauty
so we can see one last love embracing

Cut off at the last moment
a plan in pieces when the picture was near complete
rain on watercolors when the day was bright
and words unspoken brought unrelenting night

One more day
a sunrise away
everything unraveled in confusion
so many words I wanted to say

If there was just one thing you knew
kept inside for the moment to be right
could have been that last handhold
for you to climb into the light

Cold now the hearth and gone the soul
never knowing but maybe wishing
still fallen before truth was told

structure broken
support was decayed too long

sunken into the sea

I was not a siren but should have sang my song

I like to view this in an entirely different way. We are heading towards death. It is the invisible barrier that we will one day encounter on our trip through spacetime. We are like the skydivers that have switched to the flying squirrel suits. We are plummeting at near-terminal velocity with the illusion of control.

We can modify our pathway along the course of gravity, but ultimately that great attraction still wins. There are no parachutes on this ride. You do not get to safely land and try it all again. (Unless reincarnation is true, I suppose…) You meet the filter at terminal velocity and the electricity that runs the sub 60-watt bulb in your skull flickers out. The signals to and from your amygdala and vagus nerve stop and your coprocessors wind down.

Then the mass of symbionts that have been travelling with you start the process of breaking down your meat suit for further processing.

But you – your energy has ether moved on to a dimension we are unable to perceive within this flesh, or reaches a resting ground state.

Death does not come for you. It quietly waits for you to arrive.

Will you be on fire when you hit, or just another cold breeze coming through the door?

A family full of black sheep looking for a herd.
MLM, Amway, or right-wing media.
Cults and Jesus freaks, they’re the encyclopedia.
Never found a story they couldn’t swallow.
A pyramid conspiracy that they wouldn’t follow.

Another opportunity. Another broken scam.
Another broken promise to take away the glam.
Spend money to make it, the hook is set.
Just like the last times but then they forget.

Another home, another hole, another school to skip.
Never had the tickets, so couldn’t miss the ship
It sailed so long ago, I was tangled in a placenta
So fuck the captains of the ship and the fuckers who sent ya

They call it envy when angry, but I just want to eat
want to stop all the noises
want to have warm, dry feet
no skills to express the trauma that is felt
So the answer is found at the end of a belt

It was swung at first, then found in the hand
The belt has kept swinging to meet the demand
that the child won’t be spoiled, and the rod is long gone
until it swings on the belt and the cycle has won

The box it is pretty, the crowd it is strange
another chapter is closed, another memory exchanged
Healing leaves tissue of random connections
Trauma leaves traces of hidden infections

Goodbye is something that never gets heard
by those who need to hear that one compound word
I am sorry for existence
But thanks for the ride
Loved you from biology
I forgive the lost pride
Forgive my transgression
and the spite for existence
I only stay above ground at the others’ insistence.

Carry gifts from the womb to the welcoming tomb
burn and distribute me to the corners of earth
or launch the ashes into space so the planet can birth
the wasted matter that was all but consumed
by the terrors of existing
and the widening wound.